Undisciplined Read online

  "Of course not!" Felix said in his most severe and haughty tones. "I never eat garlic before a ball and my conversation is scintillating." Cordelia laughed, as Felix turned his attention back to the dance floor, where Thomas was escorting Gabrielle back to her court. She looked over at him, meeting his gaze, her eyes flicking over him and then Cordelia, before she abruptly turned away and immediately engaged one of the young buffoons in conversation. "I can't understand why she prefers the company of those other toadies to mine."

  "Perhaps she does," Cordelia said slowly, while Felix stewed in his bitter confusion. "Perhaps it's easier to accept their attentions because she doesn't prefer them."

  That observation made his head hurt to think about, yet it made a certain kind of sense. How very Gabrielle. He was starting to realize that nothing with her was ever simple or easy, but perhaps that’s why he found her so engaging. "You mean, because she does actually care what I think, she prefers their company because it's easier?"

  "Well... yes. She's spent most of her life attempting to get the attention of the man she cared most about in the world. By and large, unsuccessfully. Now, in London, she's surrounded by attention and she certainly enjoys it. She's quite hot and cold with Philip. Sometimes it seems like she wants his approval, sometimes is as though she's doing everything she can to make him angry. I think, even though he's not her father, she's begun to look up to him in that manner and she's afraid of being rejected by him as well, so she tries to force it rather than waiting for it to happen on its own. The same could be applied to you."

  "She sees me as a father?" Felix was horrified - that was definitely not the route he'd wanted to travel with Gabrielle. Good grief, he wasn't that much older than her! Cordelia gurgled out a laugh, hiding her face behind her fan.

  "No, no, I mean, that she actually wants your attention and approval and that frightens her, so she does her best to get your disapproval instead. That way, if you stop paying attention to her, the two of you were at odds anyway, so it won't hurt as much.”

  "That's very deep, Cordelia."

  "Gabrielle isn't shallow, she just acts that way sometimes," Cordelia said defensively. She gave him a repressive look, plainly telling him he should know better.

  He smiled down at her. "I know."

  ******

  How could a library be so full of books and yet not have a single thing Gabrielle wanted to read? She usually loved Gothic romances, but not a single one appealed. Shakespeare, so often a favorite of hers, seemed uninteresting. She couldn’t even drum up any enthusiasm for the collection of travelogues the Marquess had, which she had made it a goal of hers to real all of.

  Trailing her fingers over the bindings, she read each title, and dismissed it. Since there were thousands of books in here, she could probably pass quite a bit of time this way.

  She should be happy; she was a success in Society, she had friends now, she had suitors… it was everything she ever wanted, so why did she feel so empty? So unhappy?

  Mr. Hood’s face flashed through her mind and she scowled.

  If she were being completely honest with herself, her current melancholy had begun last night. She’d been just starting to think that perhaps Mr. Hood had more of an interest in her than the Marquess’ requested guard duties, when she’d overheard the speculation that Mr. Hood and the Marchesse were involved in an affair. While Gabrielle didn’t believe it for a moment – Cordelia was in love with the Marquess and she didn’t have a disloyal bone in her body – she hadn’t been able to dismiss the idea that perhaps Mr. Hood’s interest was actually in Cordelia.

  Sighing, Gabrielle plunked herself down in one of the huge armchairs that faced the empty fireplace, curling up into the soft seat with a sigh. The problem was… she rather liked Mr. Hood. She didn’t want to. It was just, he was so charming, so exciting, and such enjoyable company. Not to mention that he made her heart beat faster just by his mere presence. Which made her feel both defensive and irritable. Pushing him away hadn’t gotten rid of him, it just meant that now he didn’t talk to her, and that didn’t make her feel any better.

  “Oh, Philip!” Cordelia’s scandalized, excited exclamation preceded the sound of the library door being slammed. Gabrielle peered around the side of the chair, unsure of what was happening, only to be treated to the sight of her stepmother wrapped up in the Marquess’ arms. They were kissing, but it didn’t look anything like the kiss she’d shared with Mr. Pressen.

  This kiss was passionate, deep… it looked like they were locked together at the lips, and Philip’s hands were moving all over Cordelia’s body in a most possessive and inflammatory way. The couple moved towards the window seat on the other side of the room, kissing all the way. Just seeing it sent a tingle of excitement through Gabrielle’s body. As a country girl, she knew the very basics of breeding, but she’d never seen anything quite like this.

  “Oh, Philip!” Cordelia repeated as her husband relinquished her lips to begin kissing down the side of her neck, his hand cupping her breast as he bore her down to the window seat, laying her back on the cushions.

  Holding her breath, Gabrielle gripped the arm of the chair, not daring to make a single sound. She couldn’t – she was too enthralled by the sudden education she was receiving. It was wrong, she knew it was, and yet she couldn’t find the motivation to declare her presence. She thought it very likely she would be punished if she were caught witnessing their current activities… and yet she didn’t care.

  Tugging down the top of Cordelia’s gown, the Marquess’ head moved over her breast, and Gabrielle’s breath caught in her throat as Cordelia arched her back, clutching at the back of her husband’s blond hair. From the sounds they were making, it seemed as though the Marquess was actually suckling at Cordelia’s breast. Gabrielle’s own nipples hardened in response, and she couldn’t help but wonder what that felt like… except in her mind the head she would be clutching at was full of dark hair, and her imaginary lover had a striking resemblance to Mr. Hood.

  Cordelia moaned as the Marquess switched his attentions to her other breast, leaving her wet nipple pink and pointing in the sunlight. It should have been distasteful, scandalous, but instead Gabrielle felt the strangest tingling in her lower belly and between her legs. The sensation was disturbingly similar to the way she had sometimes felt when Mr. Hood danced with her and held her close to his body.

  “Philip! Please… I need you…”

  With a groan, the Marquess pulled his head away from Cordelia’s breasts, leaving the pink-tipped mounds heaving as she panted for air. He pushed her skirts up and Gabrielle was shocked to see that her stepmother wasn’t wearing any kind of undergarments beneath her skirts! The shock at this revelation was so great that she didn’t even register the Marquess’ movements at first.

  Fortunately, the couple was so involved with each other that neither heard Gabrielle’s small gasp as she had her first glimpse at a grown male’s erect member. While she’d seen babies and small boys playing out in the country, she’d never seen… this. His member jutted out of his body, long and hard and almost angry looking. Gabrielle had been kept away from the fields when the mares were bred, but she knew immediately that this was the male ‘sword’ to the female’s ‘sheath.’ After all, what else could it be?

  He pressed it to Cordelia’s womanhood and then shoved in with a violent thrust that had Gabrielle’s body throbbing. It looked like it should hurt… but the noises Cordelia was making had nothing to do with pain and everything to do with pleasure. Gabrielle pressed her own hand to the top of her mound, over her skirts, needing the pressure as her body actually felt like it was pulsing there. Pressing against it felt so good that she nearly whimpered, but she knew that the consequences of being caught watching the Marquess and her stepmother like this would be… severe.

  The two moved together, moaning and panting, the Marquess’ male part piercing Cordelia over and over again. His hand slid between their bodies, rubbing at Cordelia’s womanhood, and Cordel
ia let out a sharp cry, her back arching upwards. They reached culmination together, holding each other tightly as they rocked, voicing their ecstasy. It was the most shocking and exciting thing that Gabrielle had ever witnessed.

  Somehow she remained quiet as they righted themselves. Their loud, almost violent congress was followed by light laughter, soft murmurs, and little caresses. It made Gabrielle ache, because it was – in its own way – so lovely. Strangely, even though she still envied Cordelia, she didn’t feel the need to be spiteful to her because of this. Not just because she’d be inviting a spanking, although she knew that to be a contributing factor to her new attitude, but because she knew that Gabrielle’s situation wasn’t Cordelia’s fault. She might want what Cordelia had, but she had to get that for herself.

  When her guardians left the library, Gabrielle impatiently waited a dragging ten minutes before she slipped out of the room. Walking felt strange, as though it was rubbing something between her legs, at her womanhood, which felt slick and sensitive. She hurried to her room, where she fell back on her bed and yanked up her own skirts, pressing her hand back over her own mound. The touch was much more potent, much more intimate…

  Instinctively she rubbed, and then moaned, and rubbed some more. The vision of the Marquess and Cordelia flashed in her mind, making her movements more frantic as she remembered how they’d looked together… so primal, so animalistic, and yet so arousing to her senses. A new image popped up in her mind, of herself on her back with a lover bending over her, thrusting into her, and he wore Mr. Hood’s face.

  With a loud cry of shock and ecstasy, Gabrielle reached her first climax. It was to be the first of many that afternoon.

  ******

  Markham House

  Felix still didn’t know what to do about Gabrielle. He was still angry over her rendezvous with Mr. Pressen, and yet he was still drawn to her anyway. Lately she’d been blushing so becomingly whenever he tried to speak with her… he hadn’t asked her to dance again, as she seemed to have become shy now that she’d been caught. He’d thought she would retain her anger with him longer, but that had obviously given way to embarrassment. Unfortunately, it made her extremely reticent to speak with him, and she obviously preferred the company of her adoring swains to his.

  Perhaps it was unsurprising that, when he found himself with a lady admirer a few days later, his ego was in need of some salving. Fresh out of mourning and arrived in London that day, Lady Winchester was quite beautiful, with the same curvy figure as Cordelia and the same rich, dark brown hair that was all the rage this Season. She was dressed in a scandalously low cut blue and cream dress, and he couldn't help but admire her bosom as she thrust it at him, smiling up at him prettily.

  "I hope you don't think me too forward, introducing myself," she purred, placing a hand delicately on his arm, obviously not caring if he thought her forward at all. "My friend Lady Roth pointed you out particularly to me as being a wonderful gentleman to reintroduce a lady to the city."

  He gave her his practiced rakish smile back, more out of habit than anything else. His affair with Lady Roth had been well over two years ago.

  Still, he appreciated that someone wanted to speak with him. Even if it was a randy widow who was just looking for a bit of fun. Perhaps it would do Gabrielle some good to see that he was desirable. He glanced over to see if she had noticed that he’d attracted another lady, but she was stepping out onto the dance floor with Philip and hadn’t even glanced in his direction.

  “I’ll have to thank the lady for remembering me so fondly,” he said smoothly. “Unfortunately, my time is rather tied up at the moment.”

  Lady Winchester pouted up at him with a pretty moue, leaning forward to show off even more of her spectacular bosom. Unfortunately, the sight didn’t stir him in the slightest. While her curves were luscious, he desired a more modest set, which was currently dancing with her guardian. Gabrielle and Philip spun around the floor. He was glad that the two had become closer; it was obvious that Philip had started to dote on her – not out of responsibility, but out of actual affection.

  More proof that Gabrielle could be wonderfully charming when she chose, considering how Philip had felt about her at first. Although, if he were being perfectly honest with himself, he rather liked her broody and scowling at him. She played at being charming with quite a few of her suitors; with him, she was always real. Even if she was testy, he treasured that glimpse into the truth of her.

  Although, he could also tell that she was sincerely sweet with Philip now. And with his brothers, for that matter (and the wretches adored her in return). Just not with him.

  “Perhaps we could schedule a time to rendezvous at a later hour,” Lady Winchester said, with what she obviously thought was an attractive simper.

  For a moment, Felix truly considered it. Even though he didn’t find her particularly appealing, he was so frustrated… but no. While she obviously just wanted a bedroom affair, it still wouldn’t be fair to use her while another woman was planted so firmly in his mind. And, if he did decide to pursue a true courtship with Gabrielle, it would put him in an even worse position if she were to overhear any gossip about him and another woman. It was one thing to try and draw her attention with a flirtation, quite another to start up an actual affair.

  He needed to make a decision – was he going to pursue Gabrielle or not? Remaining on the fence was doing him no favors, as the other men around her pressed their suits while he stayed aloof. Felix sighed inwardly. He was no dab hand at courting debutantes, and he knew that he had bungled things with Gabrielle more than once, but he couldn’t quite let go of the hope that perhaps the spark between them could be fanned to a flame.

  Smiling down at Lady Winchester, he put her hand on his arm. “My apologies, my lady, but I truly am unable to assist you. However, I think I should introduce you to my brother, Walter.”

  ******

  Feeling sick inside, Gabrielle couldn’t even look at the corner of the ballroom where Mr. Hood was having an intimate conversation with a woman who looked just like Cordelia. Same figure, same hair, and from a distance, even her facial features weren’t too dissimilar.

  All the gossip she’d been overhearing poured through her brain, every sentence and suggestive tidbit, every tittering laugh and muffled giggle that the ton had spoken of about Mr. Hood and Cordelia. Gabrielle had brushed it off, because she knew without a doubt that Cordelia would never betray Philip. She loved Philip, with all her heart and soul, and Philip returned that regard. The obvious closeness of Cordelia and Mr. Hood had still grated, however.

  He danced attendance constantly on Cordelia, even though he’d been hovering about but not speaking to Gabrielle for days. It had made her jealous, but not like this… not like the sharp, biting pain that was clawing its way out of her stomach. Somehow, despite how much she’d disliked him at first, despite the way he always verbally prodded and poked at her until she bristled like a boar, she’d actually come to very much like him. She’d enjoyed the way he always talked with and danced with her, no matter what she’d done to push him away.

  Mr. Pressen had been the last straw, but Gabrielle had still held onto a small hope that perhaps Mr. Hood would move past it and return to his former ways. His constant attentions and the way he ignored her attempts to build up a wall between them. She’d never had to pretend with him, rarely curbed her tongue, and yet he’d always come back for more.

  Now it looked like there was no hope for that. He’d found a replacement for Cordelia – and it suddenly made sense why he’d clung to Gabrielle’s skirts for so long. It had given him all the excuse he’d needed to remain close to her stepmother… now he was having a flirtation with a woman that resembled Cordelia so closely that they could easily be mistaken for each other at first glance. Now that woman would be receiving his undivided attention, his unrelenting company, his witty repartee, and his teasing jabs.

  It always came back to Cordelia, didn’t it?

  Even if he t
ired of the woman, he would come back to Cordelia too. Because she was the original. Everyone wanted Cordelia, no one wanted Gabrielle. Why hadn’t she learned that yet?

  Apparently, some small part of her had been stupid enough to hope for more.

  She had to get out of Cordelia’s and the Marquess’ house. She couldn’t do it anymore, not knowing this. Somehow, Mr. Hood had wormed his way into her life and she’d allowed him to, despite the way she’d pushed him away… he’d fooled her into hoping that perhaps he was there for her and she’d fallen. Maybe not in love, but certainly she’d become more attached to him than she’d realized until now. She didn’t want to give him up, but she wasn’t quite enough of a fool to pine after him either.

  It didn’t matter who she married anymore, she just knew she couldn’t remain where she was – always an outsider looking in on everyone else’s happiness. Perhaps she would never find her own happiness, but she didn’t have to have her face rubbed in everyone else’s.

  ******

  Surrey House

  Lady Winchester was becoming a problem.

  Felix had introduced her to all the handsome rakes he knew, any of which would be happy to take her on, but for some reason she continued to cling to him. He was bearing it up as politely as he could, but he’d decided to focus on Gabrielle and now the woman was actively hindering him. Especially because her attentions had not gone unnoticed. Philip had informed him that Gabrielle had been jealous, and he’d caught her looking at him more than once since then.

  It was the most hope he’d had in ages when it came to her. Perhaps the time spent apart had been for the best – he’d realized that he truly did want to court her, and she seemed to have been disturbed by his absence, giving him hope that she felt something for him too. Certainly she wasn’t as indifferent to him as she sometimes pretended.

  If only he could foist the blasted widow onto someone else, he could begin wooing Gabrielle in earnest. As it was, he didn’t want to go anywhere near Gabrielle with the widow hanging off his arm – she wasn’t exactly discreet with her seduction, no matter who was listening. While it might make Gabrielle jealous, she was the type to respond in kind, and he had no desire to torture himself with that.